Does this ever happen to you? For no real rhyme or reason, you simply feel flat.
Familiar thoughts begin to stir…
“What’s the point of all of this?”
“What’s the point of this life?”
“Heck, what’s the point of today even?”
...And in case you're wondering: No, I’m not clinically depressed!
I'm simply feeling flat...
I have ups and downs in life like everyone else.
And as a life coach, I'm curious about stuff like this. I ask myself almost daily:
“What is this life really all about?”
And on these flat days, it easily feels so confusing, like a huge grey cloud of foggy thinking.
So, on days like today, I've discovered that the best thing for me to do, is to focus on what works.
I'm told gratitude works.
So I intentionally choose to think about all that I’m grateful for.
But if I'm being really honest, on these flat days, I don't feel particularly excited about gratitude. On days like this, I tend to rote list the things I'm grateful for. Like writing a shopping list…
I end up with a pretty generic list like this: I'm grateful for my family, my home, my dog, the sun... ... and this helps me very little!
On days like today, when my first go-to is trying 'do gratitude', it simply isn't going to cut it.
Now don't get me wrong! I know I have SOOOO much to be grateful for.
But on days like this, thinking about it is a list in my head, rather than something that flows from my heart…
(Ah…and there is my light bulb...)
On flat days like this, there is only one thing that I've found truly works for me. And that's prayer.
So I pray.
I pray something like this: “Lord, I need you! I feel so flat! Please help. I need you to fill me up and help me get through today!”
Recently, on a flat day, while praying, I was reminded of a book that I have on my bookshelf.
It's called “Waking the Dead” by John Eldredge. (a favourite and highly recommended!).
I read it years ago…and yet for some reason on this day I felt compelled to take another look inside.
So, I turned to a random page and started reading.
Almost immediately, my heart was stirred.
There on the page, I am reminded about this glorious treasure I have.
It’s called my heart.
You have this treasure too. Your heart.
My heart. I've spent so many years ignoring it! So much so, that it often still seems foreign to me.
I’ve spent far too many years ignoring my heart, and focusing on finding my worth in "doing stuff".
I've been so determined in all my doings!!
- Doing busy
- Doing efficient
- Doing productive
- Doing 'difficulties I can overcome'
My 'doings' list was way more impressive than my gratitude list!
I've spent so many years caught up in the busyness of doing.... and living behind the mask of all of my accomplishments.
I use my mask of accomplishments to desperately call out:
“Look at me! Look at all I do!
Look at all I’ve overcome! Look! Look at all that my life is worth.
Look at the value in all that I DO.”
Now don’t get me wrong! 'Doing' is not wrong. Doing is good.
We need to do stuff. We are created to do stuff.
The problem comes when we ignore our heart in the process. When we do stuff simply for the sake of something to do.
Doing things simply for the sake of feeling worthy, (things that ignore your heart) will simply leave you feeling flat.
I open the pages of “Waking the Dead” and read:
“We don't see clearly because we don't see with the eyes of our heart.”
(Ephesians 1:18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart be enlightened.)
“In order to get out of the fog… we need to return to our heart.”
(Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.)
“To find our lives, we must make our hearts central again!”
“There is a glory to your life that the enemy fears.
The story of your life is the story of a long and brutal attack on your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears it!"
“Everything you love is what makes a life worth living.”
Does this not stir your heart too?
How about your heart?
Do you know your heart well?
What does your heart love?
John Eldredge challenges both you and me to go and make a list of all the things our hearts desire. All the things we long for.
(this is no shopping list!)
When we become aware of our hearts' desires, we start to understand our hearts a little better. We start to see ourselves a little clearer.
So, today I give myself space to stop “doing” for a while. I give myself permission to remove my mask of accomplishment and to just “be”.
To be still and to listen to my heart first, and then to figure out a way to include this "something I love" into my day.
I notice the “flat” melting away. I notice that when I pay attention to what is in my heart and choose to live from my heart, doing the things my heart truly loves to do, that’s when I bring God's greatest glory to my world. That is when I come alive.
And that’s what truly makes my life worth living!
I encourage you to give it a go.
Make some time to get still and to just be you. Be with yourself. Be still and listen to your heart. Really listen.
If you're an accomplished “doer” like me, you'll find this challenging.
Actually, you'll find it darn hard! But I hope I can encourage you to give it a go anyway, because your heart is worth it!
You may be thinking "What planet are you on? Real life doesn't work like this!"
I understand. And I do also live in the real world...
I understand that we all have a lot of stuff we simply DO need to do. Stuff our hearts don't particularly care for... like laundry...
But what if it were possible to listen to our hearts' desires while hanging the washing?
What if we could find creative ways to infuse some of our hearts' desires into our everyday doings?
What if it's possible to remove our masks of accomplishments, to pay attention to the voice of our heart and to follow its cues?
You never know, you may start to notice your own “flat” melting away!
Do you struggle to listen to your heart? Does this feel difficult, foreign and flat?
If so, you're not alone!
This was definitely me before discovering the world of life coaching with all its tools to help me explore my heart.
I share my story, fable style, in my little book - Hiding in the Shade available on Amazon.
Soft cover copies are also available for purchase through direct order.
Simply email me to place your order: email@example.com
If listening to your heart is an area you struggle with, then I invite you to book a coaching session. During our session together we'll explore the coaching tools that helped me in my own journey towards discovering what's in my heart.
If one-on-one coaching feels too much, yet you're still curious about figuring out a way to examine the desires of your heart, then I invite you to join my online FINDING YOU mentorship. Inside are modules that will help you explore some key foundational principles to help you live your life more simply fulfilled and more joy filled.
The Finding You Mentorship is an easy-to-understand-and-apply-every-day-in-your-own-time platform, with short videos to help you understand yourself better, and downloadable worksheets to help you implement the changes you desire.
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Kathryn Wiseman PCC
Founder, Fulfilled-Life Coaching
The problems I feel passionately purposed to help solve in my lifetime are:
To help women who feel lost, discouraged and 'not enough', to discover who they are, that their worth is unconditional, and that they do have purpose.