On a scale of 1-10,
(1 being not.much.at.all. and 10 being absolutely):
1) How well do you love yourself?
2) Do you see your beauty?
3) Do you feel you are enough?
I can tell you with massive certainty that you are in the majority of women reading this if your answers to the above questions are a 5 or under. If they are 6 or higher, then girl-friend, I salute you!!! That's fabulous!!! Keep it up and continue to shine, to inspire and to share the love!!!!
It is staggering how few of us women actually believe we are enough. Even fewer see ourselves as beautiful and we tend to be our biggest critics and to love ourselves not-so-much.
Why is this I ask? I am really curious about this awful myth that we believe so readily. This myth that we just don't cut it. That we are not enough.
I was having a conversation with my coach the other day (another way for saying... while I was in my own coaching session as the client....) when I discovered for myself one of the reasons why my answers to the big 3 questions above are a 5 or below. You see, I know I am an intelligent woman. I am capable of many things. So, why on earth do I choose to love myself so poorly? As my coach pointed out, "Kathryn, it's because it's working for you. Because it's giving you a reason to hide. Because it's holding you back from being your best you". Why on earth would I sabotage myself like this?
Well, the answer is actually quite simple. If I were to love myself at 10/10, and see my beauty at 10/10, and feel I am more than enough a 10/10, then I have no excuse left to hide. I would have no excuse left to play small. I would then need to be the kind of woman who is fully comitted to being the best me in my world! To always show up at my best and to deliver my best.
The other reason is that when I score myself low, I won't feel hurt quite so much when I think others score me low too.... OUCH!!!
So, then, I ask myself how ready am I raise the scores for my 3 answers?
Am I saying it's okay to play small? To keep your answers below the half way mark?
What I AM saying is this:
If your answers are below 5 or even closer to a 1 then:
1. Be aware. Recognise where you are at. As a matter of fact. That's all.
2. Don't!!! PLEASE DON'T use your number as yet another reason to tell yourself how bad you are. Recognise that you are scoring yourself low as a means of self protection. You are playing safe. (And we protect that which we love). You are trying to be kind to yourself. Recognise that you playing small is a kind of self-love. Yes, it's unresourceful, but it is a form of self-love.
3. Thank yourself for the amazing job you have been doing of protecting yourself.
4. Ask yourself: What for? What am I hiding from? Am I ready to come out of hiding? Is it safe to carry on playing small? (am I happy playing small?) Or do I see that it is actually safer to step out, even by a little bit and play bigger than my now?
5. Then, when you are ready, give yourself this massive gift. Give yourself permission to come out of hiding. Give yourself permission to flourish.
Yours in love