When overwhelm trips you up.
Meet your overwhelm expert. Yes, I raise my hand...that's me! If there is one thing I have been really good at over my lifetime, it is diving head first into overwhelm.
Now in the coaching space my coach would ask questions like: "How would you like it to be?" and "How is it actually working for you to play the "overwhelm" card?" (Ouch). So to answer question 1: I would like to not feel overwhelmed. I would like to stop madly running (often in circles) and I'd like to rather take a purposeful stroll or an intentional dance through each season in my life.
Now to answer question 2: ...mmm "How does it work FOR me, this thing called overwhelm?" I realise that by choosing to play the "overwhelm" card I give myself an excuse to opt out. Being overwhelmed allows me to say "This is all too hard, too big....I think I will shelve it for tomorrow...or better still, I think I'd rather throw in the towel on this one."
The only glitch is....there are things that overwhelm me that I DO ABSOLUTELY desire to follow through with!!! Does this sound familiar at all?
So, once I discovered that being overwhelmed was a choice that I had turned into a habit, I decided to do a bit of searching into discovering how to kick this habit. I certainly wanted to ditch this, so needed to know more.
Let me share with you what I have found.
There are three main causes of overwhelm:
When we face a circumstance that feels overwhelming, we are often faced with heaps of uncertainty. "How should I do this? What should this look like? What do I want from this? Why do I want this? Can I really do this?" This is where choice comes in. I get to choose to take a large step back and to breathe, observe, and find my answers the questions I'm asking. I can give myself the gift of perspective. Journaling and vision mapping are both fabulous tools for setting things out in perspective. When you can see it clearly, you can achieve it. And no ... it doesn't all have to fall into place this week.....!
As women we often pride ourselves as specialists in the field of multitasking. Steven Covey in his book ' The 7 habits of Highly effective people' talks about the habit of first-things-first. When I do take a step back it's rather plain for me to see that I often try to juggle too many balls at once. I can actually choose to put some things down! It can be far more useful to target one thing at a time when overcoming overwhelm....Choose one thing only, and then stick to it till it's done. Only then choose to look at the next thing. When I started to trial this in my own life, I noticed a huge shift! I was able to be more purposeful and specific about what I was focussing on, I was far more realistic with myself so far as time management and I seriously felt far less overwhelm!!
Doing it all yourself:
Ok, so in order to become more skilled in the art of delegation, I need to let go of some of the 'need to be in control' stuff. I CAN actually get my kids to sort out their own washing....and CAN choose to turn a blind eye to untidy cupboards for a few days. I CAN offer store bought cup cakes (no, I don't have to bake them from scratch). I CAN delegate some grocery shopping to my husband...even if he brings home a different brand of butter..... I can choose let go of the need to do it all, so that I can choose to focus on that BIG THING that I ABSOLUTELY desire to follow through with, without the heavy baggage of overwhelm!
Do you struggle with overwhelm too? I'd love to hear from you. Maybe you found this a helpful read, yet would like help to implement this in your life. Help in only one click away! Choose to ditch overwhelm today! Book your free discovery coaching session here to find out how coaching with me could work for you.