I woke this morning feeling flat. Again. Does that ever happen to you? For no real rhyme or reason you just feel flat. Then that thought stirs again… “What’s the point of all of this?”
“What’s the point of this life?” “Heck, what’s the point of this day even!” And in case you're wondering... No, I’m not clinically depressed! I’m normal.
I have ups and downs like everyone else. I am living the life of an entrepreneur who almost daily asks herself “What is this really all about?” It all feels like a fog some days!
So back to feeling flat… I start with what I know to do when I feel this way. I pray “Oh Lord, help me through this day today!” I remember to think about all that I’m grateful for - yet on days like this it’s like rattling off a shopping list…these things I’m grateful for. Today this isn’t going to cut it. I know what I’m grateful for intellectually…but it’s all in my head, not in my heart… (Ah…and there is my first clue!)
Then for some reason (I believe it’s an answer to my prayer…) I’m reminded of something I read a while ago. I go to my bookshelf in search of the book I know I’m looking for…it’s called “Waking the Dead” by John Eldredge. (I highly recommend this book. It’s one of my favourites). I read it years ago…yet for some reason on this day I feel compelled to take another look inside. That’s when it happens. My heart is stirred. Excitement builds! I am reminded of the reason that this life is worth living! I am reminded about this treasure I have. It’s called my heart. You have this treasure too.
My heart. I spent so many past years ignoring it! So much so that it often still seems foreign to me. I’ve spent so many years focusing on making my life feel worthy by "doing". I was so determined at doing busy, doing efficient, doing productive, and doing difficulties I can overcome! I spent so many years living behind the mask of all of my accomplishments.
It’s like I was screaming to the world: “Look at me! Look at all I do! Look at all I’ve overcome! Look! My life has worth and value because of all that I DO.” Now don’t get me wrong! There is no real problem with “doing”...in fact we need to do stuff. It’s when you ignore your heart in the process that things go flat.
How about your heart? Do you know your heart well? What does your heart love?
I open the pages of “Waking the Dead” and read this:
“WE don't see clearly because we don't see with the eyes of our heart.”
(Ephesians 1:18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart be enlightened.)
“In order to get out of the fog…we need to return to our heart.”
(Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.)
“To find our lives, we must make our hearts central again!”
“There is a glory to your life that the enemy fears. The story of your life is the story of a long and brutal attack on your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears it!"
“Everything you love is what makes a life worth living.”
Does this not stir your heart too? And so the author challenges you and me to go and make a list of all the things we love. All the things we long for. When we know what we love, we start to understand our own hearts a little better. We start to see ourselves a little better.
So, today I give myself space to stop “doing” for a while and to just “be”. To be still and to listen to my heart first, and then to go and do the things I love. I notice the “flat” melting away. I notice that when I pay attention to what is in my heart and choose to live from my heart, doing the things my heart truly loves to do, that’s when I bring Gods greatest glory to my world. That is when I come alive. And that’s what truly makes my life worth living!
So, go on. Give it a go. Make some time to get still and to just be you. Be still and listen to your heart. Really listen. If you're an accomplished “doer” like me, you'll find this challenging. Yet I hope I can encourage you to do this because it is soooo worth it!
I dare you. Go and listen to your heart first…and only after you’ve listened, only then go and do what it is asking you to do. You never know, you may even notice your own “flat” melting away!
Are you struggling to listen to your heart? Does it feel hard, foreign and flat? Then I encourage you to get hold of my book - Hiding in the Shade (click these links to buy either the ebook or soft cover). I also have a free four part webinar series coming soon just for you! Keep your eyes open for this! Want to know more about coaching? Click here to connect.