She wakes early on Friday morning with mixed feelings of excitement and nervous apprehension. Today is going to be her big day.
Her day as queen.
She reflects on the extravagance of this gift she had been given. Beautiful friends have been generous beyond words by gifting her a spectacular book launch evening fit for a queen.
She has only just starting to get her head around that fact that she is now a published author! Only the previous week another generous friend had gifted her with her first, smaller launch. This was perfect, because she could start small and gain confidence for this day, her day as queen. At the smaller launch she had met with beautiful women all eager to connect and have fun on a relaxed night out. She thought back to that evening and smiled thinking about the overflow of love and encouragement she had received. She loved this about people.... the ease at which they showed such love and generosity.
She ran fingers through her newly styled hair while her eyes paused over her toes... soon to be touched up with a pedi appointment. She marvelled at the abundance of all that this day would bring. Yet another gift had been offered to her only a few days earlier. A gift of photos for this event by her photographer friend (an angel in disguise)! She knew these photos would capture the love and laughter of the evening. Her dress was perfect. An elegant navy Sasha Drake design. Her bright pink shoes and matching lipstick would top it all off. The weather was perfect. Everything seemed perfect.
A perfect day fit for a queen!
Yet, while revelling in the joy of all of this, she notices a familiar uneasy feeling coming to the surface. She squirms a little just thinking about it. She decides to address this feeling head on to get it out of the way so that she can fully embrace and celebrate her day as queen. After all, days like this are for celebrating! So why this dis-ease? She digs deep and there it is. The deep darkness inside. It stirs and then with sudden force throws itself at her. It questions:
"Are you worth all this?" "What have you done to earn or deserve this?" "How will you ever be able to pay back this kind of abundant and overflowing generosity?!?"
And instantly they are there, her knee-jerk reflex answers: No! Nothing! and Never!
Her heart begins to sink. She starts to freak out - "What was I thinking??? Why did I accept all this? Who do I think I am?"
...and then she heard it, the tiny voice gently whispering: "Stop right there! Who said you could earn any of this anyway?"....
What!? "Excuse me?" she replies. "Okay, I'm listening. Please say that again. "
"Who said you could earn any of this anyway? What if this is not all about you? Yes, it's a big gift- this day you've been given. Your day to be queen. But what if it's not all about you, but about others too? What if it's also about joy and pleasure for those doing all the giving?
What if it's also about joy and pleasure of those coming along to connect, to support and encourage? No, this is not only about you, this day as queen. This is about others too. And no, there is no possible way you could earn this. You see, a gift is not something you deserve or earn. A gift is never a measure of your worth. A gift is never given in order to receive back in return. A true gift is given freely. No strings attached. It's given to be graciously and joyfully received. It blesses the giver and much as the receiver. Be gracious. Be thankful. Go and dance and celebrate! The best thing you can possibly give back is to immerse yourself in their love and then let that love flow over to others."
Wow! She is awestruck and humbled right there! So, this day is not all about being a queen she muses... and what a relief this is to her! No, this is not a measure of her worth and no, she could never possibly earn this! She sees it then. This is all about love. This is about receiving love so that she can continue to give it. This is about celebrating life and friendship. She notices the deep darkness lift and lightness take it's place. She chooses to delight in and to dance through this day. This is after all her day as queen.
Smiles, and a royal wave...