How to cure your "I'm-not-enough-itis"
There is a current world wide epidemic called
Ask almost anyone and they’ll confess to having caught this ‘disease’ at some stage.
And many of us catch it over and over again...
There’s also a huge market out there for helping to treat people for this. From counselling to psychology, coaching to mentoring. Even hypnotherapy!!! I’ve seen a few videos of a celebrity hypnotherapist in the UK who works with people to help them recover form this. She encourages them to speak this affirmation: I am enough. I am enough. I am enough. The hope is (along with her hypnotherapy) that if you speak it enough you’ll eventually learn to believe it, and when you believe it, it will change how you live your life.
As for me, I would love to be able to completely cure my own “I-am-not-enough-itis”.
I don’t mean simply treat it. I mean cure it! Once and for all. Always. With no relapses and no doubts.
Yet for many of us our reality is that it’s just so darn catchy! It takes only the slightest look or comment and we've caught it again! This “I-am-not-enough-itis.” We simply don’t FEEL enough - by our own standards or by the worlds standards.
I’ll give you some examples;
- You’re not married yet - so you feel “not enough”.
- It seems you're unable to fall pregnant - so you feel “not enough”.
- You were not accepted into the course you long to study - so you feel “not enough”.
- You rent a small house, drive an old car, wear the same clothes over and over - so you feel “not enough”.
- You only have a few followers for your business on FaceBook or Instagram - so you feel “not enough”.
- You’re too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too loud, too quiet - so you feel “not enough”.
You get the picture.
Yet, even though we KNOW these things don’t define us and don’t actually mean we’re not enough, our reality is simply that we still feel like we’re not enough. We still doubt ourselves. We still compare ourselves with the girl next door…. until we make it our absolute intention to choose to STOP!
But stopping these thoughts and feelings is difficult! The more we try to stop them, the more we seem to have them! This epidemic is simply too easy to catch!
So, is there a better way to tackle this epidemic called “I-am-not-enough-itis”?
Yes there is, and it’s this:
Don’t just try to stop it. Rather, swap it! - Let me explain.
It’s a bit like trying to not eat chocolate.
If you focus on not eating it, you're thinking about it. If you keep thinking about it you’ll eventually cave and eat a whole MEGA bar in one go! So, rather than focusing on not eating it, choose something else to focus on. The trick is - the ‘something else’ that you switch your focus to needs to be something just as or even more desirable and inspiring to you. It needs to catch you too. For example, when you notice you’re thinking about chocolate again, choose to do something else that you really love. Something that will ‘catch you’. Make a delicious coffee, phone a special friend, go for a walk, read a book, write a blog…. anything that catches you. The trick is to not focus on the thing you’re trying to stop. Rather redirect your focus towards something else that you love.
So, how does this work when it comes to our dilemma of feeling we’re not enough?
If you focus on the fact that you feel you’re not enough, you’ll keep thinking you’re not enough, and you’ll empower those thoughts. It’s like a virus that takes over! So, rather, recognise that you do have the power to choose to swap this thinking with more desirable, truthful and empowering thinking.
I sincerely struggled with this myself until I discovered a thought to trump my “I’m not enough” thinking.
This new thought has finally shifted from head knowledge to heart knowledge. I don't just know it and brush it off.... I KNOW IT with a new kind of knowing! A new kind of revelation. I've chewed on it. I've let it sink in. And it's been great enough to kick that old “I’m not enough” thinking in the butt!
It’s this: God in me is enough for me!
Wow! You mean I myself don’t need to keep trying to be enough!?!
(.... and by the way, who defines enough anyway???).
All through the bible there are accounts of how God shows up and is more than enough! And all through the New Testament we read how the Holy Spirit resides on the inside of us.
All through our days, He is longing for us to let Him show us how He is more than enough for us!
When you face difficulties and limitations, He's whispering into your heart, “I am enough.”
He explains to us that He won’t stop life’s struggles and challenges, but He’ll let you know that He is enough as you walk through each one of them with your eyes set on Him.
He’ll even take your hand and grow you as you overcome your challenges!
He says “Come. Any time. Night or day. Come and find rest in me. Come and take shelter under my wings. I’ll be your wraparound shield as you face your difficulty. I’ll show you a better way.”
So, whether you're lonely, sad, angry, frustrated, deflated or discouraged, He is always there letting you know that He is enough. When the hurtful words people speak constantly churn in your mind, and you simply feel ‘not enough’, choose to change your focus. Look to Him. He is enough.
He in you is enough for you!
Spend time sharing your heartfelt feelings with Him. He is there. He listens. He answers. He heals. And yes, He can handle any and all of your feelings!!! He has big shoulders!
He is enough.
So I leave you with this; rather than trying to simply stop thinking “I’m not enough” instead try swapping it with “God in me is enough for me!”
And wow! What a difference that's made for me! I pray it does the same for you too!