When it's time to say goodbye
We've all experienced new beginnings.
We love new beginnings.
Yet if ALL we had were only new beginnings
and no endings, only new hello's and no goodbye's - well, my guess is we'd be totally overwhelmed!!!
So - the end of a thing is a good thing.
In fact, it's a really good thing!
This has me reflecting on life's many "endings". When a season comes to an end, the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to acknowledge and accept it. The kind thing is to walk away, to not look back too often and to shift our focus toward the new.
When last did you have a season of something ending? Maybe you sense you're nearing the end of something? Or if truth be told, maybe you know you are well past the end date of a thing but for some reason haven't closed the door yet....
"Closing the door, turning the page, moving on, etc. It doesn’t matter what you call it – what matters is that you leave the past where it belongs so you can make the best of the life that’s still available to be lived." - Mark Chernoff
Being a life coach, I often get to hear of sorrowful endings.
The end of a marriage. The end of a career. The end of the life of a loved one... Other endings I hear about are happy. "I no longer have cancer! ... so what now?" As for myself: my hubby and I are fast approaching a kind of "mixed emotions" ending. It's only a few short months before our youngest son leaves our nest. (His big brother has already left the nest) Soon it will be the beginning of just the two of us at home. (until the next holiday rolls past and fingers crossed they all come home). I can spend my time reflecting on passed happy memories, feeling sad that those years have past, or I can spend my time pondering and planning exciting adventures still to be lived.
The thing is, these endings we all experience are not THE END. They are a door closing so a new one can open. They are points in your story where one chapter transitions into the next. They are valuable moments for checking in with yourself asking: Who am I and what do I truly want?
So I ask myself this: "How can we transition through these moments of endings and beginnings well?"
I've found these 3 helpful tips:
1. When a door closes abruptly or a new one opens unexpectedly remember life's richness often comes from it's unpredictability. Remember Gods ways are far higher than ours and His plans for us are far greater than those we conceive for ourselves. When a door closes and another opens, pause for a moment and ask: What is the gift in this?
2. The serenity Prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr in the 1930's is one you know well. It's a clear reminder that not all things are in our control.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
3. It's wise to not dwell too long on the past - focusing on all that went wrong or trying to fix or fight the past. Rather focus on what's ahead, on building and growing new things for a fresh new season. In the words of Graham Cooke: Stop trying to fix what's already dead - rather focus on what's alive and ahead.
To help you remember these tips in season, print them out and pin them up where you get to see them regularly.
If you find closing a door is difficult or making a transition is treacherous, I'd love to work with you.
Book here for your free discovery session to find out how working with a certified coach can provide you with life skills and tools to transition well.
Dear reader, I'd love to hear from you. Whether you have a story to share, a point to contribute or a would simply like to say hi, log in and leave your comment below. I look forward to stopping by to read what you have to say.